“There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It's true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it's more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They're opposites. If we're in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we're in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.”
-Elisabeth Kubler Ros
A few weeks ago I had breakfast with two friends and while we were catching up we spoke about the difference between fear and love. Some say that fear and love are the two basic emotions that are the source of all other emotions. Love is gratitude, acceptance, compassion, understanding, kindness and vulnerability. It is trusting that things will work out and it is more beneficial to see the good in things instead of the bad. It is the source of which all things are pure and abundant.
Fear on the other hand is exactly the opposite. It includes worry, anxiety, indecisiveness, anger, bitterness, resentment and the list goes on. No one feels happy when they are living in fear, but why do so many of us fall victim to it? We get caught up in bad thoughts that spiral out of control or we assume that we know what someone else is thinking. Living in fear forces us to tighten our grip on life and try to control the outcomes. This leaves us feeling hopeless and exhausted from trying to force outcomes instead of embracing the flow of life.
This place of fear is our ego. Our ego is meant to protect us and keep life predictable. People often find themselves in the same situation but with different people and wonder why this keeps happening to them. The ego wants to follow the same path because it is familiar and you will know what to expect. Although it may seem counterintuitive, at one time it was as our way of survival. As adults, we need to appreciate it while also deciding that it is no longer working for us. Instead, we can approach our ego and fear based ways with love. Offer compassion and understanding instead of resistance. As Carl Jung once said, “what you resist not only persists, but will grow in size." We do not want fear and anxiety to grow, so lean into the fear and meet it with kindness. Let go of fear and pain. Walk towards what feels good for your soul, move with peace and harmony.
Instead of viewing a change in your life as negative, view it as a lesson. Although we don’t understand everything in the moment, have faith that it is happening for a reason and you will grow through the change instead of resisting it.
“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.” -Rabindranath Tagore