The term "inner child" has become more commonly used in today's world. However, it has been around since the 1900's when Carl Jung, psychologist, came up with the theory. Basically, he believed that all humans have an inner child who was either wounded or nurtured during times which required basic care and support. As children we have needs, wants, desires, that allow us to be seen, heard and understood. All children seek safety to be able to show up as their authentic self. Children make choices that naturally feel right to them. It isn't until adults or parents either promote their behavior or reprimand it. Children have the natural instinct to express their emotions as they occur. For example, a child will tantrum, when angered or cry when upset. It is based on how the adults respond which will either help the child feel nurtured for their expression or wounded.
As adults, we do not spend enough time reflecting on moments from childhood. Or even trying to uncover some of our own behaviors. The patterns, behaviors, and thoughts we have are all conditioned from our childhood. Some are positive while some might not benefit you. As a child, it wasn't your responsibility to manage your feelings or behavior. As an adult, it is your responsibility to learn and understand how and why you show up to the world the way that you do.
There are characteristics that describe a wounded inner child. These include feeling unsafe in the world, seeking external validation, belief of not being enough or whole, overreacts or shuts down, sees life in black and white thinking, harms oneself and lacks boundaries. Theses “wounds” are identified as the abandonment, guilt, neglect, or trust wound
We all have moments where we are not able to show up as our best self. However, when you reflect on it, you are able to give yourself what you needed when you were a child. For example, if you are suspicious of your coworkers motives, but their actions do not align with that feeling, then you should question yourself. Where is this feeling coming from? Were there moments from your childhood or in past relationships where you had to walk on eggshells? All of this is information for how you show up in your life.
Take some time to think about how you react in situations where your feelings are hurt, you do not feel safe, or heard, or understood. How does your body react to the situation and what is the earliest memory of you feeling the same way in your childhood?